Epilogue

Everything I see in the sky has already happened.
Every star comes to me from its own past.
Every galaxy shows me a face,
which it may no longer have.
Wherever I were to journey toward the light,
I would be flying backward.
The future has no constellations.
It hadn't emitted a single ray yet,
by which I would recognize her direction.
Yet the space opens up before me.
Not like a door.
Rather like the dark that stopped meaning the end.
The house has the same address.
The room stays in place.
My body lies in its center,
but its coordinates are no longer the same.
Dad once folded a sheet of heavy paper
and two distant edges touched.
In the middle of ordinary paper, a place was created
that hadn't existed before.
Now I am bringing together two edges
between which my whole life has lain until now.
On one, everything
that has already sent out its light.
On the other, nothing
to which I could give a name.
They touch.
No return is created.
A direction is created.
Perhaps one day I will rise beneath a sky,
that will not know my past.
Perhaps I will fall asleep in a room,
where night falls at a different hour.
Perhaps I will learn a language,
in which I do not yet know a single word,
and I will see a sea,
that has never reflected familiar stars.
Perhaps time will not run faster or slower there.
It just won't measure the waiting.
Perhaps another gravity will teach me,
that weight doesn't have to be a burden,
but a way
to stay on the surface of a new world.
I don't know what I'll find there.
I only know that this time I won't follow the light.
I'll go where,
from where none has yet returned.
Into the darkness that is not empty,
it just hasn't revealed anything yet.
My eyes no longer know before I do.
They gaze ahead
and see nothing
that has already happened.
For the first time they have nothing to hold onto.
And yet she is not afraid.
In the evening I lay my head
on a pillow with a star.
It is the only one
that does not come to me from the past.
It is here.
Beneath my face.
Right now.
Zavřu oči.
V záhybu látky,
between star and night,
lies one tiny herb flower.